Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
