This is not my ceiling
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
