Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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