Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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