Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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