barbara walters just said penis...
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Will exercising make me less horny?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
