Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
