do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
