He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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