Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
