i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I wish they made helmets for livers.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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