Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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