I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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