Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Randomize
