Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
