my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize