i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
3 2 1 whiskey
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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