Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
