Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
