I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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