Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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