that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Don't EVER smell your tampon
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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