Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Panties = found
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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