he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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