if you like me you must not know who I am
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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