One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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