non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
