he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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