i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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