your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
