It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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