I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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