I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
