Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
handjob tips. give me some.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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