I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
