bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
