So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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