Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
