got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
