seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
