brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Come see our sink grown plant.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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