Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
