so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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