how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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