Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
