So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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