Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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