some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
