..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
