Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
