Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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