I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
