ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
