Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
