I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
