just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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